Faith and Hope

Faith and Hope


Megan's medical trials weren't making enough progress for his satisfaction. He had run all the calculations and read and memorized so many pages of research and theory that he could still see them when he closed his eyes at night.

But while every now and then there was still this undercurrent of worry that would pull at him, he couldn’t remember ever feeling this deeply happy before. What he did remember was feeling so, so lost. He remembered feeling unloved and unwanted. But then he was saved, twice.

The first time it was by Walter who rescued him out of the darkest of pits when he was a teenager. The second? When Megan held his hand in that hospital room, stayed by his side, and helped him find peace again. Now he had so much purpose and focus for his life. He was so much more than a human calculator and it meant the world that his friends, who had become his family, saw and appreciated that.

Blissfully cuddled with Megan on the couch he was doing his best to remain in the moment with her. Just minutes ago they’d been dancing together. He had tried to Waltz this time which had caused Megan to giggle and laugh as she imagined how ridiculous they probably looked. She didn’t care though. She said it was sweet and romantic and just so ‘Sly’ and she loved it. She loved him and had made a point of telling him so, not just in words but in actions too. It was such a simple yet all-encompassing notion. They had gone quiet now and were enjoying the silence, but he wasn’t surprised when he felt that undercurrent of worry pull at him again.

“Your mind’s getting away. That’s something you and Walter have in common; you never stop thinking,” Megan said softly as she laid her head back onto his shoulder. She snuggled in closer as he draped his arm around her shoulders. “What are you thinking about?”

“A million different things,” Sylvester answered honestly.

“Okay, what's the biggest thing on your mind?” Megan clarified.

“You,” Sylvester blurted out without hesitation. Then, worrying that he’d unintentionally said something offensive again he quickly added, “Not that you're big, like fat, because obviously you're not, really you’re rather small, I mean, not small like a kid cause you're a full grown adult…”

“Hey.” Megan stopped him rambling before he could internally berate himself. “I know what you mean. It's okay, I get it. And it'll be ok,” she tried to assure him with a gentle and encouraging smile.

“I'm just worried that the new meds aren't working or they aren’t working fast enough to counteract your progression,” Sylvester admittedly lowly.

“Hey, you said you would support me right? And that's what you've done since day one. I couldn't ask for more from you. I'm not giving up hope so neither should you,” Megan lightly chastised.

“But what if...”

“Stop. Just stop that train of thought right there,” Megan warned as she turned so she could see him better. “I know by now you’ve probably already run the probabilities of everything that could possibly go wrong or right several times over. But you have to have faith and you have to have hope. Because the cool thing about faith and hope is that they never really die out. Sure, they can burn a little dimmer now and then and they can get overshadowed by doubt, but they will still burn if only you give them air to breathe,” Megan asserted firmly.

For a few moments Sylvester didn’t say anything. He just stared at her in awe and contemplation as his hand found hers to give it a squeeze, wishing and hoping she could still feel it.

“You know, I could use three words to tell you how I feel, but even those wouldn’t be enough. But there are another two words, two words two people can say to each other, that would accurately convey what I’m feeling for you,” Sylvester murmured softly as a small smile played at his lips. He had never realized he was capable of that kind of prose before.

“Are,” Megan began, her brow furrowing as she caught his meaning. “Are you proposing to me?” she asked, clearly stunned.

Sylvester took a deep breath and held it for a moment before he started taking quick, shallow ones.

“Hey,” Megan called out as she moved herself onto his lap, facing him straight on so she could put her hands on either side of his face. “Are you, Sylvester Dodd, actually proposing to me right now or are you simply alluding to it or...?”

“I would be the happiest man on earth if I could spend every day from now until the end of eternity being by your side, even though that's mathematically impossible,” Sylvester answered her seriously. “But what matters most is what you want and what would make you happy,” he amended. “Because you'll always have me, as long as you want me and for as long as you want, in any capacity you want. I want to give of myself to you as much as possible and as much as you can stand,” Sylvester finished in a near whisper and with a slight shrug.

At this Megan pulled him to her and kissed him so passionately that he swore his brain really did stop for a minute.

“So if you're looking for a straight answer to your question, it would have to be 'yes'.” Sylvester added.

“Then my answer would also have to be yes,” Megan countered with the biggest smile he’d ever seen on her face before kissing him again.

Realizing something, Sylvester pulled away from her reluctantly. “But I don't have a ring picked out for you yet,” he admitted.

It was Megan's turn to shrug. “Do you think that really matters to me right now?” she asked rhetorically to which Sylvester responded by kissing her once more.